As I was talking on the phone to my mom today, I has one of those “aha” moments as a new parent: I suddenly had insight to why my parents did the things that they did when my brother and I were growing up.

For instance, my vivacious little nine month old is one of the world’s worst sleepers. She still wakes up every four hours to nurse, and when she was teething (she currently has one tiny little razor-sharp tooth on the bottom), she would wake up even more often; and when she wakes up at night, I have the urge to scream at her and say “why?  Why? WHY are you awake?!” But this is exactly where the “aha” moment comes into play because even though I was a fairly good sleeper as a baby (according to my parents), I have extremely VIVID memories of creeping into my parents’ room at night when I was about 3-5 years old and waking up my mom who was not so happy to see my cute face at 4am. At the time I couldn’t understand – I just needed my mom. But now, now I understand entirely how awful it is to have someone – anyone – wake you repeatedly at night and thwart you back into the land of consciousness from the oh-so-coveted dreamland.

And yet, for all of the baby sleep advice out there, at the end of the day, I have to trust myself and my husband and know that, for now, those night wakings and nursings pay off. We couldn’t ask for a more beautiful, joyful baby girl.